I want to delete this place, but i cant. Its a part of my history, good and bad. And archiving it is crazy, unlike archiving book of glorg. I only did 12 of those.
Yes tonight I decided to rid myself of the old sites I do not use ever. Bebo and Myspace. this was next on my list. But, I just cant bring myself to do it. and I still never reached that 1000 entries goal. Maybe I'll restart writing in here again. It might me a good first step to get out of my writers funk.
So much has happened since my last entry and yet everything is exactly the same.
All those lame feelings of no direction and wastefulness are all still there. Lack of money has increased to a million times worse. But lets recap the main events.
I got my degree moving from graduand to graduate. Natalie was roped into watching by Mum, because she could. It was nice.
Lucys 21st was my last hurrah in Hamilton, met some cool people there too which sucked.
Moved down to wellington and into my own place after 2 weeks. I love having my own space and this city is awesome. Lots of walks with lorraine has been had.
The job hunt has been less then pleasant though. No one wants to hire a white, 24 year old male graduate, with limited experience in anything.
I applied for a webseries gig which turned into nothing and then into a whole lot of creepy. The guy turned out to be one giant lie and possibly mentally damaged. I have a book I need to return to him but can not bring myself to want to meet him again. his scripts were terrible and he was offering to mentor me. Blargh
The good thing that came out of that though was I met other people he had strung along too and we all got together to have ranting sessions about him.
My internet friend Mike moved down to wellington to live with me. He also is having difficulty finding work, but i suspect he doesnt try that hard and not leaving the house ever is also an issue. I dont have a problem with it, only that i feel bad that he doesnt leave the house cause its almost my fault that hes stuck in this situation.
Til jan anyway.
Oh my cat, the one I got so i wouldnt be lonely. He died. Hit by a car. he was the best cat I ever had and not a day goes by that I dont miss him.
I think Ive been stuck in a rut ever since he was hit by a car. Just going through the motions. I know, its just a cat. But I poured every ounce of myself into that cat, I worked hard on him. He was super trained. And I just want to attempt to pat him again only to have him bite me because he thinks im playing. Just one more time. There may be other cats but therell never be another thunder.
I have become addicted to the internet, tonight is my last hurrah. Until Dollhouse is back on the air. In december. I will only be using the net to check my emails and facebook. And the occaisional jobhunt.
I need to get out of this rut, both mental and physical and also emotional. Time spent passing time will be better spent creating or thinking.
So goodbye whoever is reading this. I will be back in december, but maybe not to here. But I think I might be.
