Im bored. Really super bored. I suppose I'm just not that interesting to be considered as someone worth visiting. Oh well. I am not going out of my way to meet people just to to be shafted, not anymore. the sooner you all accept the fact that I am now based in Hamilton and will only return to Matamata to visit family the better. I have nowhere to stay in Matamata. When I go there I have to sleep on a couch. I havent been back in 2 months for that sole reason.
also Nana is no longer there, so my purpose of visits has dropped considerably. Also i have no car.
I am stuck here. So if you want to see me then actually make it your business to visit me. None of this 'im in town doing errands do you want to meet up crap'. This is directed at no one in particular, as in I am not bitter towards you Scott. So don't go getting wrong ideas, though I would like to know why you suddenly died, and didnt text me back.
No, what im sore about is Kat. I don't know if she reads this anymore but I was not pleased with how she went about seeing me.
Its been 3 years since i saw her last, she texts me saying shes in town and we should meet up. I have a haircut in the next hour and tell her so. I get it done, and ride my bike into town, just to meet her. Where I then spend the next hour walking around town looking at christmas presents. It was nice to see her again and beggars cant be choosers. But come on. That was crap. You go out of your wasy to visit friends in auckland arranging things with them DAYS before hand. Well it doenst make me feel very uncrappy.
So, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of jumping on a bus back to matamata just so i can spend one measley night with lorraine (or whoever) where we watch a shitty movie and then call it a night.
I'm sick of dropping everything just so I can wait for you all to find breaks in your schedules. I'm sick of trying so damn hard. Stop taking me for granted. I am going to continue to live in hamilton, I am going to continue to have 4 days off a week. I will only return home to matamata to spend time with my family. Thats christmas and birthdays.
This will mean I will miss out on many functions that may happen in Matamata. I will be as away as Natalie. I will feel sad for missing out but theres not a lot I can do about it. I've got no transport and I have a job I need to return to. I am stuck here. And I have dealt with it. People move on, I cant stay in matamata forever just waiting around for someone to have a gap in their schedule. From now on I will be a scheduled event. If you get my meaning.
Do not get high and mighty and say its a two way street. No, when someone goes visiting someone, they ask or announce they are coming over. They arent asked over by their visitee. It doesnt work that way anymore.
If I was going down to Wellington to visit lorraine, pauline, anna, leonie, erika and whoever else is down there, I would tell whoever I was staying with. (lorraine and pauline) That I was coming down (or ask them). Think about anyone else you visit. People your parents visit who live out of town. Who instigates a casual visit? Sure there may be other reasons to go to that town, but a good chunk of time is spent with whoever you told you were going to visit, in advance. you do not just drop around unexpecctedly.
We arent in college anymore, where an invitation went either way, its time to act like adults. Adults who live apart in different towns. I would do the same, if I had a way of getting to you that is. Living in the same town is different I'll admit it (regardless of age) there it is a two way street. But an out of towner does not ask someone over traditionally. Unless there are some circumstances that requires an urgent visitation. Or a why dont you stop by on your way to yada yada. We could catch up.
I have never heard of one of mums auckland friends ring up and go. "Hi. I was wondering if you'd like to visit me next thursday. Im free that day, are you?" See how ridiculous that sounds? The ball is in your court people. That is my closing argument.
At the very least have me meet you in town to DO something. Not to watch you do something, while your partner is all quiet and awkward. Thank you, that is all.
Not much happening at all these days, worked an extra shift today, fisished reading the new lee child book that came out eariler in the year. Almost finished playing Final fantasy 3. Watched some shitty free movies, and a couple of better then i expected. Superman returns is so boring. The Butterfly effect 2 misses the point entirely. Epic Movie is the worst movie ever. Flightplan is actually interesting to watch, Decoys 2 is awesomely hilarious way better then the first one. The Bourne movies are alright, the first one is kind of not much going on. The second and third tie into each other better.
Work continues to be enjoayable, drinking lift plus near the end of the shift does not do wonders for my nerves and i make stupid mistakes.
Home life is very quiet as I am the only one home during the day while everyone works. Except for fridays where I work as well. I feel like im resented for having such a nice job. Which is not fair. And most likely paranoia.
Shortland street has invaded my life and i cant afford to miss an episode. But for different reasons. Still it sounds very bad on paper. Or in binary whatever.
There continues to be no attempt in anything in the romantic love life stuff which is fine and dandy.
Gym is going strong, and gives me something else to do in the week.
Writing has been on hiatus. No idea when i'll be picking that up again.
Life is quiet. Too bad theres no uni which means no people to force my companinonship onto and make things happen outside of uni. I am jonesing for a movie. I get tempted to go alone, but theres no fun in that.
Well yeah that it. rememeber what i talked about, and perhaps more may be written about in here. Don't resent me, I am being logical.
kizmitt out
